Monday, November 19, 2012

the season is the reason

I am a very relaxed person to the point of being lazy.  Being a pagan is perfect for me.  The seasons change and I dust and put out decorations to honor the time of year. 

I try to change things up every month but there's something about winter that makes me want to hold on to all the beauty, glitter, greenery, and lights.  I don't know, is it that primal fear that the sun won't come back that makes me want to hang stars and lights around my home from the first of November until the forsythia blooms in February?

Or maybe it is my inner child that just can't get enough of the anticipation of 'the perfect gift' that makes me leave my trees up way into January?

I love the music, foods (especially the sweets), warm drinks, and the laughter of family and friends that make this season special.  And it makes me smile to think that everyone, whether they admit it or not, is following a pagan calendar whose origin goes back so far that the human heart just accepts that this is right.



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

take note

I love my pagan path because I am creating my life. My worship, my way. When I discover something that works I accept that it may only work for me and I feel no need to convert my neighbor or the masses.  

"Each new wave rearranges the patterns in the sand...
so we may pretend our footsteps are the first...."

I guess I enjoy thinking that I have discovered something wonderful and new.  Like when you walk on the beach and yours are the only foot prints.

At the same time, I will share (especially when asked - and if the time is right) and I love to read other blogs and hear stories of how others live their lives.  Too bad there's not a DIYWitch channel somewhere - or is there?

Over the last few months I've discovered I am a one notebook person.  I run a more efficient home, things get done (shopping lists, wish lists, everyday stuff, and witchy ideas), and I am just more relaxed if I keep my trusty, beat-up notebook close at hand.  Also, my spells have a better outcome if I plan and follow that plan (still not always what I'm hoping for - but sometimes that little surprise is part of the fun).  I just seem to have a better life when I keep all my "working" thoughts in one spot. 

When a 'spell comes together' and I accept the outcome, I make notes and then transfer all this information into my Book (sorry, folks, but "Books of Shadows" isn't me and neither is "Grimoire").  

For every day living and dreaming I keep my notebook handy. When I got my iPhone I thought that would be the perfect note keeper - but no.  I'm old fashioned enough to love paper, not to mention, if the mood strikes, I can always burn a piece of paper.  

How do you keep up with your life?  Are there any new discoveries  making you smile this week?

~ Sam


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

living the life

When I look around and see how things have fallen into place in my life, I am amazed and feel blessed.  When we purchased our house, almost a decade ago, I wasn't thinking "This place is so pagan!"  I was just looking for a place that made me feel at home. 

This house did that.  It faces north (I always like a north facing house) with a large oak tree in the front yard.  The air conditioning unit is on the east side, the fireplace along the south wall, and the kitchen sink is, of course, on the west wall.

I look around me today and see the elements in their proper order.  Hidden in plain sight.  I'm the only one here who even thinks about it.  I would love to have someone come into my home and make this observation. 

Candle on left represents female, candle on the right reminds me of
male, on the tray I have blossoms, an acorn, and stones, in the cups
- air and fire, the pitcher holds water, and in the bowl - salt. 

I keep my altar set up in the kitchen and no one has ever said "O look!  An altar."  I would love that.  I have hints all over the place, still no one even winks at me. 

I have had people tell me how comfortable they are in our home.  I've even had visitors fall asleep in my chair - I'm not offended by this and take it as a sign of peace.  I like to think they are able to let go of their troubles and relax.  When this happens, Darrin and I (and sometimes other guests) go into another room and wait for the weary traveler to awaken.   That usually happens within the hour, they may be slightly embarrassed but they are always grateful.  Funny thing - it happened once with a young priest and when he woke up he said "It was like magic, we were watching the basketball game and the next thing I know I'm waking up!"  Then he told us how he had never gone to sleep like that while visiting parishioners and how comforting our home felt to him. 

For those of you living your pagan life "out loud" how is your home a reflection of you?  If you are 'closet bound' what's the most witchy thing on display in your home?

~ Sam


Thursday, November 1, 2012

bitter sweet

I had lots of fun yesterday, all dressed up and no one to tell me how godless and terrible witches are.  I wore a bit more makeup than I usually do and tried to look my best.  I don't do "scary" and I have never worn a mask with a green witch face.  I see the world view of Halloween as just a fantasy of witchyness, just trying to stir up a christian fear so that everyone will look to a lone male god for protection. 

After all the trick or treaters were gone and the house was quiet, I sat alone with my candles and thought of loved ones no longer here.  At some point, I walked out on the patio and stared at that big, old moon.  I told it and everyone good night.  Just before I turned to walk back into the house I could smell lavender everywhere!  I got so excited, was this it?  Had my paternal grandma come by to say good night to me?  Then I remembered I had bundles of lavender drying here under the eaves...  Still for a moment...

As I mentioned in my last post, this time of year always brings along a sadness of knowing so many people were killed because they were labeled 'witch.'  But a new level of sadness was added when I read The Halloween Witch a post by Angel at The Country Witch's Cottage.  This post actually brought tears to my eyes.  I never thought about the reason witches are depicted with green faces.  Like some of her other readers I just thought it was done to make us look bad. 

My break with organized religions that act as if the male is all that is needed (all that matters) is not completely over.  I still, on occasion, attend church with Darrin.  He expects it, the neighbors do too - and the folks at church.  I worry that even my children would have trouble with mom giving up 'church' (even though neither one is attending a church at the moment).  

This closet business is hard, but not as hard as I believe the coming out would be.  I don't think I would be physically tortured, but I do fear rejection and loneliness.  So many blogs I follow don't realize what a comfort they are to me, friends in the blogging world make my life better just by being there and posting their thoughts and stories of their lives.  On the other hand, friends I visit with in "real life" have little or no clue about who I really am.  So in my heart and mind I have much conflict with all this. 

This is my New Year's resolution:  To figure out a way to meet and become friends with others like me in my community.  Not sure how I will do this... 

Any suggestions?

~ Sam