Friday, January 24, 2014

change

A month into the Retired Life and I'm looking for change.  Is this normal?  I should tell you I am also reading Dance of the Dissident Daughter, a 1996 book by Sue Monk Kidd, only 30 pages into the book and I find myself grieving because I have "no goddess."  No female deity...  So many important women in my life and yet none of them was God.  So many times I heard "...if it's God's will.." or "God willing."  Like everything was up to the MAN in the sky.  This is my first book of the year.  Thanks to the blogger who suggested it - when I'm not angry or crying or fretting that I may have wasted my life away, I'm really enjoying this book.



My days are so full right now that I have only a bit of time to read at night.  We've been traveling and it's hard to pull out a book, even a small paperback, and read while visiting friends and family.  Still, something about this book has me hooked, and angry, and 'needing' to read it. 

The togetherness of retired life is strange.  I've learned new things about Darrin in the last 40 days - which is good (don't want us getting bored with each other).  This 24/7 lifestyle is not all bad, just very confining.  Now, instead of hopping in my car and going wherever I want to go, I'm expected to tell another person my plans.  Silly that it should bug me, I don't go anywhere clandestine, and, truthfully, I expect him to tell me what he's up to - it's just he wants to come along with me...  Really?  I'm popping over to shop for new nail polish or get a hair cut or whatever...  I'm just not used to the company.

Or maybe it's this book?  I've always deferred to others in my life.  Always put others first or at least I thought I did.  Maybe I had enough time on my own that I got the things done I wanted to do and still found time to do the things my loved ones needed me to help with and .... I don't know.

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm following through on the reading for Melissa's Eclectic Bookshelf's 2014 Reading Challenge and looking for my goddess / female archetype.  Best of all, it feels good to be learning something new.

~Sam

)O(

2 comments:

  1. I read "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" a few years ago and enjoyed it. I found a lot of similarities with my own journey into women's spirituality. If you are open to the Divine Feminine, a Goddess will call your name. You will find one who resonates strongly with you!

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  2. Hi Sam.
    Wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten you. We too have been busy with house stuff, visiting family and no time to for me to put a few thoughts together in the quiet of my studio.
    Hang in there, as Debra said, the Goddess will make herself know, be open to the unexpected, funny coincidences etc.

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